The challenge of becoming a new mom is overwhelming. A helpless little baby gets thrown on you and you are expected to know how to feed her, change her, bathe her, soothe her, etc…Nothing is more terrifying for a first time mother than her newborn crying away in her arms.
I, too, am a first time mother. I had already decided to breastfeed my baby long before she was born. Because I was a health professional, I thought I knew everything about breastfeeding: the right position, how to latch on, feeding on demand, night feeds to increase supply. Lo and behold, I went from ‘hero’ to ‘zero’ when my daughter was born and I started breastfeeding on my own.
Most new parents would remember the first day they bring their new baby home with joy. I came home in tears!! I was at the hospital for 3 days because I had a C-section. As soon as I had woken from my anaesthesia, I started breastfeeding my baby. She latched on easily and suckles really hard. She was almost 24 hours on my breasts and my nipples were really sore from all the sucking. (In retrospect, perhaps her latch was not proper).
On the day of my discharge, my breasts started to be engorged. I had no idea that because I did not react quickly to the engorgement, the situation became worse. My baby was crying and could not get the milk out from my engorged breast. So I did the most sensible thing for a mother…. I fed her formula milk just to make her stop crying (it did!) Little did I know my action worsened the situation. My breast continued to swell (it was literally bursting) and the pain was unbearable. To add salt to the wound, I felt completely alone. My own mother had gone ahead to prepare my evening meal and I didn’t know whom to turn to. So the moment I reached home, I just couldn’t take in all in and broke down completely.
How I got through that first night home and the few days afterwards was truly Grace from God. As both my mom and mom-in-law never breastfed their children themselves, they could not help me with the problems I faced with breastfeeding. So I gathered myself together, started reading and contacting mothers who breastfed and asked for their advice. One particularly helpful person was my sister in law in Petaling Jaya (who successfully breastfed all 3 children). She became my source for all things related to breastfeeding and role model!
So after having to relearn about breastfeeding the hard way, this is my survival guide for new mothers:
1. Your decision to breastfeed your baby is the BEST you can ever make.
Constantly remind yourself why you chose to do it so that you will not give up when things get tough.
2. Make effort to read up about everything breastfeeding before your baby is born
There are plenty of reliable resources on the Internet. Particularly good links are available from http://www.babyparadise.com.my/.
3. Get help if you face any problems during breastfeeding
You are not alone! There are professional lactation consultants available or even a good friend or relative who has breastfed before. Get in touch with support groups such as Mother-to-mother Peer Supporters. Having someone to talk to about your breastfeeding problems really helps you.
4. It is not ALL or NOTHING
Even if you can’t fully breastfeed in the first few weeks, doesn’t mean you have failed in breastfeeding. Continue to persevere on and don’t give up just because you are not exclusively breastfeeding. Any breast milk is better than no breast milk.
5. Acknowledge that breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally for all mothers
Both mothers and babies have to learn how to breastfeed. So if you encounter problems, it doesn’t mean you can’t breastfeed. It only means you have to find the solution to the problem.
6. Every baby is unique and so is yours!
Don’t compare babies. No two babies are the same. Just be patient and get to know your special one.
7. It is worth it!
Despite the tears, and comments from family members, breastfeeding is truly the best gift you can give your baby. When the bumps have been smoothened out, you’ll find feeding your baby a joy!
It has been a long journey getting from that first few days till now. A journey laced with tears and frustration and eventually joy and satisfaction. I am now back to work and proud to say my daughter is still breastfeeding. I express milk during my working hours and she nurse as she pleases when I return home. Looking back, I realized that had I not gone through the tough times, I wouldn’t be enjoying this wonderful privilege now
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